how would you deal with your child being bullied at school?
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Sorry to hear that man. Must be very hard for you and your son. I completely agree with FlatLine. Few of my buddies little brothers went through similar situations, and complaining to the teacher did just about nothing. You definitely want to start at the top (aka the principal). If he doesn't take it seriously (which is rare), next stop is the school board. With all the recent suicides are a result of bullying, principals take this shit very seriously.
And lastly, the fact that he's in the gifted classes already makes him a target. Kids at that age are still immature (obviously) and think it's cool to bug the "nerds". If I were you, I'd enroll him into a sport that's going to boost his confidence. Because if this shit continues, it could really put a dent in his confidence that will linger for many years to come. What sport? Well, depends where you live. But I'd say hockey/basketball are good. I remember when I was around 8 or 9, I moved to a new school, and I used to get shit for a while, and people just didn't wanna hang out with the new kid. Parent's enrolled me in competitive hockey and basketball, and obviously word gets around (some of the douche bags from school were even on my team). Shortly put, I never had problems anymore. Plus, I'm assuming your son isn't participating in any sports at the moment, right? I mean, I can't tell you how to raise your kid, but I think a balance between academics and other things (mainly sports) is very important.
So yeah, don't let this continue. Don't wait another day. As soon as your there (wherever your son lives), go in to speak to the principal. In many cases, the children who are bullying your son are doing so because they have not been raised/disciplined at home properly.
good luck man, and don't let this stuff get to you. there are solutions. my younger sister used to get picked on once we moved again during high school. I know that shitty feeling. It's like you feel helpless. You wanna beat the shit out of the little punks, but obviously, that's not an option.
And lastly, the fact that he's in the gifted classes already makes him a target. Kids at that age are still immature (obviously) and think it's cool to bug the "nerds". If I were you, I'd enroll him into a sport that's going to boost his confidence. Because if this shit continues, it could really put a dent in his confidence that will linger for many years to come. What sport? Well, depends where you live. But I'd say hockey/basketball are good. I remember when I was around 8 or 9, I moved to a new school, and I used to get shit for a while, and people just didn't wanna hang out with the new kid. Parent's enrolled me in competitive hockey and basketball, and obviously word gets around (some of the douche bags from school were even on my team). Shortly put, I never had problems anymore. Plus, I'm assuming your son isn't participating in any sports at the moment, right? I mean, I can't tell you how to raise your kid, but I think a balance between academics and other things (mainly sports) is very important.
So yeah, don't let this continue. Don't wait another day. As soon as your there (wherever your son lives), go in to speak to the principal. In many cases, the children who are bullying your son are doing so because they have not been raised/disciplined at home properly.
good luck man, and don't let this stuff get to you. there are solutions. my younger sister used to get picked on once we moved again during high school. I know that shitty feeling. It's like you feel helpless. You wanna beat the shit out of the little punks, but obviously, that's not an option.
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is hands down, the best Martial Art for kids. It teaches to defend themselves against bigger opponents. Its proven, its not "kung fu/bruce lee ninja I'll can kill you with the touch of my finger bull crap. Its real fighting.
But its great for kids because it teaches them how to control their opponents so they dont have to physically beat them up...it teaches them how to defend against larger opponents where, although they may not be able to attack the attacker if there is too much of a skill/size difference...but they will definitely be able to protect themselves with superior positioning, control etc.
But its great for kids because it teaches them how to control their opponents so they dont have to physically beat them up...it teaches them how to defend against larger opponents where, although they may not be able to attack the attacker if there is too much of a skill/size difference...but they will definitely be able to protect themselves with superior positioning, control etc.
I know it's not your responsibility, but see what you can do to show the bullies what it feels like to be bullied. Probably the only way they'll learn.
A sport, or better yet, a self defense class would really help him build up his self esteem, because clearly this situation is getting to him. Make sure you contact the principal and make it clear you will not tolerate this if this persists.
After awhile he'll probably learn to just shake things off and to give 0 shits, since they're probably still sucking off of their mother's boobies and are proud of it. Bullies want reactions, it fuels them, so remind him to try his best to not give the bullies any reason that they are getting to him.
After awhile he'll probably learn to just shake things off and to give 0 shits, since they're probably still sucking off of their mother's boobies and are proud of it. Bullies want reactions, it fuels them, so remind him to try his best to not give the bullies any reason that they are getting to him.
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DO NOT TAKE HIM TO JUI-JITSU CLASSES - READ THIS POST!
Don't get me wrong, it's a great martial art, but it's not appropriate for this situation.
Why?
Because it mostly focuses on ground fighting and submissions. That's NOT the way to defend yourself against what is almost certain to be multiple bullies.
If you teach a kid being bullied jui-jitsu, he's gonna take one of those bullies to the ground and either:
a) Get stomped out by the other 2+ bullies who are still standing while he's on the floor almost defenseless
or
b) Break some kid's arm and get expelled from school
Honestly, I can't tell you what the best thing to do would be, but personally, I'd either put him in a muay thai class or buy him a punchbag and teach him to punch myself. Then I'd tell him to go to school, find the ringleader of these little fuks and break his nose. He'll probably have 1 "retaliation" fight after that, and he may get a beating, but if he goes down swinging he'll never have to worry about them again. I'd rather he take 1 beating than get bullied for the next 5 years. Kids kill themselves over this shit.
That's my take on it, yours may be different. But for the love of god don't teach him jui-jitsu.
Best of luck
edit - I just realized another option. Find a couple of kids in the school 2-3 years older than the bullies, and get them to "have a word" with the bullies. Throw them $50 each if you have to. Get them to let the bullies know that your son is their pal, and if they mess with your son again they'll have to answer to them. THAT is what I would do.
Don't get me wrong, it's a great martial art, but it's not appropriate for this situation.
Why?
Because it mostly focuses on ground fighting and submissions. That's NOT the way to defend yourself against what is almost certain to be multiple bullies.
If you teach a kid being bullied jui-jitsu, he's gonna take one of those bullies to the ground and either:
a) Get stomped out by the other 2+ bullies who are still standing while he's on the floor almost defenseless
or
b) Break some kid's arm and get expelled from school
Honestly, I can't tell you what the best thing to do would be, but personally, I'd either put him in a muay thai class or buy him a punchbag and teach him to punch myself. Then I'd tell him to go to school, find the ringleader of these little fuks and break his nose. He'll probably have 1 "retaliation" fight after that, and he may get a beating, but if he goes down swinging he'll never have to worry about them again. I'd rather he take 1 beating than get bullied for the next 5 years. Kids kill themselves over this shit.
That's my take on it, yours may be different. But for the love of god don't teach him jui-jitsu.
Best of luck
edit - I just realized another option. Find a couple of kids in the school 2-3 years older than the bullies, and get them to "have a word" with the bullies. Throw them $50 each if you have to. Get them to let the bullies know that your son is their pal, and if they mess with your son again they'll have to answer to them. THAT is what I would do.
This is smart for a few reasons. It alerts the administration of the issue; it covers your bases regarding repercussions if things escalate; and it puts them on notice that you're covering those bases.
Here's what I suggest:
Take your kid and sit down with the principal. Take a digital recorder (ask for permission to record, obviously). Have your kid describe the problem in detail. When he's done, it's your turn:
To the principal: "Things haven't gotten physical yet. Names, taunts, etc. They mean nothing. But if they hit him, that changes everything. He will defend himself."
Look to your kid: "Son, what is the quickest to defend yourself against an attacker."
Your kid: "Throat and eyes. Hard."
Look back to the principal: "You need to make this stop. Today. Do it before things escalate. Before one of those kids gets seriously maimed. They can feel free call my son whatever they like. But if it gets physical, my son will put an end to it."
---
The point is to get the admin to intervene. Not to threaten. And do everything possible to prevent a real fight from occurring.
IMHO there is nothing that you can effectively do to the bullies to keep them from being bullies. Talk to a guidance counselor or principal will only piss the bully off, and in turn he'll likely make your sons life worse.
You can't watch them every second, and they will capitalize on the opportunity they get.
Someone said something about talking to him to see if there is something you can do to make him less of a target. That's a good place to start.
The next thing you need to do is get him acquainted with some other children in his grade. IE he needs some fucking friends. If he can get in with even a small group of people, the more protection he will have. Bullies will find it harder to get at him, taunt him, if he has support around him (even if they won't fight back). Find something he's likes to do, and find a group for him to join to do it.
I like the idea of martial arts. It will help to build his confidence and give him the ability to kick the bullies ass if need be. I'm not saying violence is the end game, but it can be used as a deterrent so that the bully will go look for "easier" prey.
If all else fail, find a way to get the shit bag bullies expelled. Break bad babby!
You can't watch them every second, and they will capitalize on the opportunity they get.
Someone said something about talking to him to see if there is something you can do to make him less of a target. That's a good place to start.
The next thing you need to do is get him acquainted with some other children in his grade. IE he needs some fucking friends. If he can get in with even a small group of people, the more protection he will have. Bullies will find it harder to get at him, taunt him, if he has support around him (even if they won't fight back). Find something he's likes to do, and find a group for him to join to do it.
I like the idea of martial arts. It will help to build his confidence and give him the ability to kick the bullies ass if need be. I'm not saying violence is the end game, but it can be used as a deterrent so that the bully will go look for "easier" prey.
If all else fail, find a way to get the shit bag bullies expelled. Break bad babby!
Now we're talking! Although, Muay Thai might be a little overkill for a 12yo. Would definitely provide him with the skills to show the bullies' who's boss though. Just make sure he has a well disciplined teacher, so he doesn't turn into a homicidal maniac.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccNHlwJUm3M]muay thai best fight - YouTube[/ame]
Even if he sticks up for himself and gets his ass kicked, it's better than letting it continue. Bullies will eventually go "shit, I don't want to have to fight this fucker every time I pick on him".
It might take once or twice, but the whole school will get the idea pretty quick after he's been sent to the office for fighting a few times.
Or he might just kick their asses. Even the tough 12 year old's are pussies.
It might take once or twice, but the whole school will get the idea pretty quick after he's been sent to the office for fighting a few times.
Or he might just kick their asses. Even the tough 12 year old's are pussies.
Another really good idea. Although they are probably just as likely to take your money and run.
I think this is the worst advice. If you go telling the school on these kids, you're essentially labeling your child as a "rat". If the kids are then suspended for bullying, they will tell all their friends and the other kids will make life a living hell for your kid, even worse than things are probably. Even if they aren't suspended but they're brought in about it, they'll tell their friends and it will still be hell.
Besides, when your kid is older, if he doesn't learn to defend/stand up for himself, what do you think will happen?
I don't think bullying is right, cool, or anything like that.
He needs to fight back, plain and simple. No matter what measures you go through with the school, counselors, or even the law, those kids will never gain respect for him and he will not gain respect for himself until he punches their fucking lights out.. sad to say but there really is no civil way to handle this.
I was told when I was a kid that the second I was shoved, smacked in the head, or anything else along those lines... to punch whoever that person was as hard as I could without even thinking about it. Sure enough it happened my freshmen year in high school.. I literally broke the nose of a Junior JV football player for taking my backpack.. was never fucked with again, ever.
I was told when I was a kid that the second I was shoved, smacked in the head, or anything else along those lines... to punch whoever that person was as hard as I could without even thinking about it. Sure enough it happened my freshmen year in high school.. I literally broke the nose of a Junior JV football player for taking my backpack.. was never fucked with again, ever.
seriously. laying the smack down on someone is the only way to get them to shut up sometimes. and i'm telling you OP, the ambush technique is better than letting a bigger guy have time to prepare and get psyched up. no rules outside of the ring, so sometimes you gotta fight dirty. just make sure he doesn't kick the other guy in the balls. he'll be the joke of the whole school if he does that.
Look up kids doing MT in Thailand. There's been a documentary put out or about to be put out about it recently.
Lol at all the martial arts suggestions.
I never met a single kid that could actually defend himself with martial arts (referring to regular white kids, not 12yr old Muay Thai badasses). This video shows how majority of fights are structured (flailing punches) provided it doesn't go to the ground -
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O07u7KdRVo0[/ame]
The white guy knocked out the Mexican with a lucky punch.
If you want your kid to be able to fight, put him in combat training, not martial arts. Martial arts helps more with discipline and character, not how to take a punch and make shit happen in the heat.
Even then, combat is a long-term solution taking 5-6 months to train him enough to hold his own and have the confidence to fight. Your short-term solution needs to focus your son's attitude toward this. Do not baby him about it, but help him solve it.
If you turn it into a logical problem that has a logical solution and the both of you work together figuring it out like detectives, you stand a chance of learning the bully's motive and how to counter-act. I would simultaneously tear up that Principle and make sure he heads this stuff off quickly. Screw guidance counselors.
I never met a single kid that could actually defend himself with martial arts (referring to regular white kids, not 12yr old Muay Thai badasses). This video shows how majority of fights are structured (flailing punches) provided it doesn't go to the ground -
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O07u7KdRVo0[/ame]
The white guy knocked out the Mexican with a lucky punch.
If you want your kid to be able to fight, put him in combat training, not martial arts. Martial arts helps more with discipline and character, not how to take a punch and make shit happen in the heat.
Even then, combat is a long-term solution taking 5-6 months to train him enough to hold his own and have the confidence to fight. Your short-term solution needs to focus your son's attitude toward this. Do not baby him about it, but help him solve it.
If you turn it into a logical problem that has a logical solution and the both of you work together figuring it out like detectives, you stand a chance of learning the bully's motive and how to counter-act. I would simultaneously tear up that Principle and make sure he heads this stuff off quickly. Screw guidance counselors.
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lol @ "combat training"
What is this "combat training" you speak of, good sir? And where do I enroll my children? Does the "combat training" school provide a healthy snack as well?
Fucking LOL.