Solve this disagreement between the wife and I, who's right?

Who is being unreasonable?

  • Your wife is being unreasonable

    Votes: 138 89.6%

  • You are being unreasonable

    Votes: 16 10.4%
  • Total voters
    154
J

JMan1234

New member
Apr 18, 2008
652
11
0
Texas
My wife's family has a reunion/anniversary celebration coming up for her Grandparents.

Of all the weekends they could have selected for this, it also happens to be the weekend that I was expecting to spend with my brother for his birthday, and watching a boxing match together.

The reunion with my wife's family is, I believe Friday-Sunday, so basically 72hrs. I'm asking her for a 3hr window to drive back and watch the fight with my brother, and then drive back to her family event.

So far she is completely denying my request, and thinks I'm being unreasonable. She says there's no way I'm going to leave for 3 hours.

I say she is being unreasonable. 3 hours out of 72 to spend time with my brother on his birthday is not an unreasonable request. So what say you?

(And no, I'm not posting pics of my wife's boobies, let's get that out of the way).
 


If you changed your mind on the last sentence it might give people a better understanding of the problem and who you're dealing with. Will be easier to offer advice :)

But seriously, she's unreasonable...
 
Kiopa_Matt said:
Tsk, tsk... I bet there's more to the argument than just this. :)
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There's not. She says this is really important to her family, they've been looking forward to it, everyone will be there, and that I'm going to be there.

I say, yes I understand it's important, and I'll be there. But I've also been looking forward to seeing my brother on his birthday. I would like to leave for just 3 hours over the entire weekend to spend time with my brother and watch a boxing match, and then I'll be back.

That's it. That's the entire argument right there.
 
See how she reacts when you tell her that you'll be spending 72 hours with your brother and will take out 3 hours for her family reunion.
 
onkelmicha said:
Yeah dude, there has to be something else that you're atleast over looking here.
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There's not. Her argument is that her grandparents have been planning this for a long time. And I understand that, I do. I'm just asking for 3 hours out of the entire weekend to spend with my brother.

It's a straightforward disagreement, there's nothing else to it. She believes the entire weekend should be devoted to her family, since they all aren't together very often. And I disagree. I think I should be able to leave for 3hrs on my brothers birthday. My brother and I had already planned to see each other, but I didn't realize it was the same weekend as my wife's family reunion/anniversary.
 
There's still got to be something more to this, because no rational individual would put an argument like this. Sounds like it maybe something like, "You stupid ass! You hang out with your buddies every weekend, watch sports, go fishing, drink beer, and have fun. You always decide your friends are more important than me and my family. So now I want ONE full weekend with you, with my family!"

Or I don't know, something like that...
 
Well I'm not married but my brothers are much more important to me than anyone else.

Just explain the situation to her grandparents once you are there, they probably have enough life experience to not be egoistic twats like your wife.
 
Kiopa_Matt said:
There's still got to be something more to this, because no rational individual would put an argument like this. Sounds like it maybe something like, "You stupid ass! You hang out with your buddies every weekend, watch sports, go fishing, drink beer, and have fun. You always decide your friends are more important than me and my family. So now I want ONE full weekend with you, with my family!"

Or I don't know, something like that...
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That's why I can't believe she's saying no. Because I don't go out with friends (heck I really don't even have any other than a couple neighbors!, working from home I don't meet many people). I don't go out drinking, etc... She knows that really the only entertainment/fun things I like to do involve going to see my brother and/or watching a good boxing match. And the frequency is only 3-5 times per year, that's it.
 
Calamity said:
Well I'm not married but my brothers are much more important to me than anyone else.

Just explain the situation to her grandparents once you are there, they probably have enough life experience to not be egoistic twats like your wife.
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I really don't think her Grandparents would care. It's the wrath of my wife I'm worried about.
 
JMan1234 said:
That's why I can't believe she's saying no. Because I don't go out with friends (heck I really don't even have any other than a couple neighbors!, working from home I don't meet many people). I don't go out drinking, etc... She knows that really the only entertainment/fun things I like to do involve going to see my brother and/or watching a good boxing match. And the frequency is only 3-5 times per year, that's it.
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If everything you said here is true, then wow, does she ever have you by the balls. I'm sorry, but wow. I'm assuming you're the bread winner, no? Time to the lay down the law, buddy.

Make her realize that relationships take two people, compromise, and meeting each other half way. If she doesn't like it, tell her to pack her bags, and don't worry about coming back when she goes to see her family. That's what I'd do at least.

If I'm going to be sharing my life with someone, and dedicating every working day to ensuring we live a good, worry free life, then I expect a rational individual on the other end who's going to meet me half way in this whole life journey. I'm a very fair, compassionate, and empathetic individual, and I expect the same if I'm dedicating my life to someone so we can have "our" life. If they're not willing to, they're wasting my time, so piss off, because life's too short for that type of thing.

EDIT: This is assuming you don't have any kids.
 
The thread title reads: "Solve this disagreement between the wife and I, who's right?"

It should be: "Solve this disagreement between me and the wife; who's right?"

Since this question was asked with wrong grammar, it is invalid and you fail.

The wife wins.

PS: She's being unreasonable.
 
Damn man...as others have hinted, you need to start asserting yourself in the relationship. Your request is not unreasonable at all. I could see her point if you had planned something on the date that wasn't specific to that weekend, but your brother's birthday is a pretty fixed event--there's not much you can do about that.
 
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