Staying faithful..

pewep said:
well sounds like either you're just not the settling type or you haven't reached that stage yet. either way don't fuck around when in a relationship because that's just being stupid and immature.
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Imo, it's not a real relationship unless there are children. I mean, otherwise it's just two adults who for the moment don't want to have sex with other people. Likewise, why ever get married if not to provide a stable home for the children.

I understand the lust and desire for a new girl very well, but I'm not in a relationship either and won't be in one just for stable sex/security like most. How awesome is it to yet off to another country and meet local honeys?

I suppose people are just different, but the ironic thing is that of the 5 guys I know in my immedeate circle of friends, 2 of them are cheating bastards a 3rd has cheated several times and only 1 is definitely faithfull, but he is a bit of a pussy. None of them are assholes either, just normal guys.

I think that temptation will always be there for men and I also think it's much, much worse when a woman cheats because it will usually mean she isn't in love with you anymore and will likely look to break up, while a man can easily separate sex and emotion.
 


Redshield said:
Humans are not biologically designed to be monogamous, despite what society has told you. Men are designed to spread their seed far and wide to increase chances of successful dispersion of genes. Women are designed to seek out most masculine and wealthy partners available which means they are always looking to upgrade. So in essence, men are designed to seek more mates, and women are designed to seek better mates, neither of which leads to monogamy.

To understand the societal theory of monogamy it is necessary to understand the original purpose of marriage. If you read the Torah you will see that a married man having sex with an unmarried woman is not considered adultery. For adultery to be committed the woman involved must be married, because the crime of adultery is actually a crime against the husband. We have perverted this original intention over time, but the basis for the law is to avoid a man giving his wealth to another mans child.

Marriage was originally a property transfer, but today it is more resembling a business partnership. You own things jointly, so should you marry don't go after the prettiest face because even the prettiest face grows old, go after the person you would most like to remain in business with for the rest of your life.

In the meantime, if you are not married, there is no such thing as cheating because you have entered into no contract. If you are married, and you need to realize your carnal desires, do so in a manner that doesn't impact your business relationship with your wife. In other words, don't get caught, don't get another woman pregnant, don't let another woman know about your assets, etc. Business is business.
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This thread is over, this dude just ended it with scientific fact and religion. Right on the money.

I recall meeting this girl that said she didn't believe in marriage. I started banging her. You know what this chick all of a sudden wanted to do once she saw the money???? So, that was my first wife... (LOL, I'm not married, I kicked that chick to the curb, fucking liar)

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Instead of cheating you should just break up with your girlfriend and then fuck another girl, so atleast the girl will know its over.
 
OP I'm the same age as you and I'm also finding it hard to settle down...

This is something that men have struggled with since the dawn of humanity... No one was able to find a solution to this problem. No one.

Ancient Chinese and Arabs came up with the concept of having several wives. Ottomans/Turks came up with Harems. Jews had (and still have) the concept of Kibbutz... Basically children are brought up by the community instead of being brought up by 2 parents. Men can go and fuck whoever they want, women take care of the community/kids and other stuff. Not a bad concept if you ask me. I saw a documentary where they went to a Kibbutz community and interviewed them... they all seemed pretty happy and content with their lifestyle. Makes you wonder...

Males are hardwired to hunt + feel healthier and more powerful when they have several partners. I feel like we're the only species that is trying to go against nature by settling with 1 partner. Sure it's an ideal environment to bring up kids, but if you do not have any intention of having kids, what's the added value here?

I was reading an article last week (I cannot find the link to post it here) that said that several studies showed that men's testosterone levels DROP SIGNIFICANTLY when they settle down and have kids, being more prone to weight gain, depression and mood imbalances. The article said that men who stayed single and had several sexual partners had much higher T levels and a much more balanced hormonal profile in general (They're basically healthier for fucks sakes!). Part of me wants to settle down and have kids so this is not something I wanted to hear, but fuck... it does make you think twice about what you want to do...
 
Plus getting one-night stands today is just so ridiculously easy and accessible (provided you're half good-looking and know how to peak a girl's interest) that's it's just very hard to resist our inner instincts.

Last Friday I was in a bar with 2 friends with NO intention whatsoever of talking to any girl (I have a GF!). And this was a sports bar mind you, not some club full of sluts. So we're sitting there talking and watching sports highlights on TV and a group of girls walk in. 2 of them happen to be my friend's colleagues, so he introduces us and we all started talking for a while. The one that sat beside me was a Danish blonde bombshell (not even kidding). I told her I had a girlfriend but she didn't seem to mind. As the night goes on and alcohol settles in, she clearly tells us all that she just got out of a long relationship and that she's only looking for a fuck friend at this point because she hasn't gotten laid in weeks :stonedsmilie:... Now, how the fuck do you handle yourself in this situation? The girl is smoking hot, wants to get laid and doesn't give a fuck if you're in a relationship. How do you tame the beast? Should you tame the beast?

What would you define "Cheating" in this situation? Fucking the girl (cheating your GF) or not fucking the girl (cheating your inner instincts, your natural male purpose)... whatever you choose to do will be WRONG somehow. Can anybody deny that?
 
Discipline. - Great read on that > [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Rediscovering-Greatest-Human-Strength/dp/1442345667"]Amazon.com: Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength (9781442345669): Roy Baumeister, John Tierney, Denis O'Hare: Books[/ame]

Help your discipline by keeping yourself away from places or situations that might cause you to cheat.
Bars, Clubs, Alone with woman, things like that. Bust a nut in the sink if you have to.

Unlike Animals we dont want to die alone and there's actually more to life then fucking anything that walks.
 
Or maybe we're just really good at denying our nature. I've heard there's this story of the perfect Japanese housewife who packs condoms for her husband when he goes on business trips.
 
as my grandpappy used to say, everyone's got a little hoe in em, it's best to get it out before some jealous woman CUTS OFF YOUR DICK AND FEEDS IT TO THE PIGS!

He may have been a little crazy, but he also had pigs...
 
avatar33 said:
What would you define "Cheating" in this situation? Fucking the girl (cheating your GF) or not fucking the girl (cheating your inner instincts, your natural male purpose)... whatever you choose to do will be WRONG somehow. Can anybody deny that?
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Sounds like folding under pressure to me.

This thread is so 'full of appeal' to nature...


I require you all to go read some DUNE... are you a man or animal? Need some 'gom jabbar' up in this bitch.


Your logical fallacy is appeal to nature


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OP, this was eluded by the previous poster but I had the same problem.

Here is the solution.

Open relationships. Up until I was 29 I could not commit to anyone for more than six months, my average was 3 months. I am wired that way. I actually never felt there was anything wrong with me. Anyway, the solution? Open relationships.

I have been in an open relationship for three years now. Not only am I free to do what I want, but I also have someone I care and trust around at the same time. Its win/win.

Quite awesome. Only time I got crap for it was because my sexting with another girl was better than I have ever texted my girlfriend and she asked to receive more texts like that. That's it. Takes some good communication and being open about what you want but it works great.
 
Choose sexual freedom and promiscuity over a steady relationship all you want.

But it's just so pathetically BETA to hurt a person that you are close to by cheating on them.
So grow some fucking balls - finish one relationship before you start another.
That's what real men do, as opposed to acting like silly wee teenagers.
 
Hav3n said:
Sounds like folding under pressure to me.

This thread is so 'full of appeal' to nature...


I require you all to go read some DUNE... are you a man or animal? Need some 'gom jabbar' up in this bitch.


Your logical fallacy is appeal to nature
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I can see what you're saying, but in this case going against nature has health consequences bro...

Let's go back to science for a minute: Masculine men (Defined as those having Higher Testosterone Levels) and Feminine Women (Higher Estrogen) produce the healthiest children. This has been proven by many studies. Here's an article for ya.

Now, remember what I said earlier... men's T levels drop down significantly when they settle down with 1 partner... So what is nature trying to tell us here?
 
I think too many relationships also increase likelihood of a lot of STDs bro
 
Arabs had multiple wives not to handle issues with monogamy.

In that region, at that time, women could not live in a house with a man who was not their husband or family.

When there were wars or conflicts, men were killed, and their wives and children were left without a breadwinner.

The rule about 4 wives required a man to be able to provide the same level of attention and material comfort to each wife, or he was not to take her into his home.

It definitely wasn't about sex, although western bigotry against Arabs and Persians has lead to a lot of negative stereotypes about sexual practices.

The term "harem" originally meant "all of the women a man was responsible for" including his daughters, sisters, mother etc.
 
avatar33 said:
I can see what you're saying, but in this case going against nature has health consequences bro...

Let's go back to science for a minute: Masculine men (Defined as those having Higher Testosterone Levels) and Feminine Women (Higher Estrogen) produce the healthiest children. This has been proven by many studies. Here's an article for ya.

Now, remember what I said earlier... men's T levels drop down significantly when they settle down with 1 partner... So what is nature trying to tell us here?
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Aren't we already killing ourselves masturbating? Or is it coffee that will get us? Wine? Burgers? Or was it sitting this week? #YOLO

By all means... have an 'open relationship', a harem, or stay single and fuck anything that moves.

Just don't be 'in a relationship' and then violate the trust of that relationship and then try to explain it all away with biology or health reasons or whatever.

It's just a lack of self control and then rationalizations.
 
It's pretty simple. When you've found a woman who's value is greater than the value of cheating with other women, you won't cheat. I was like you until I met the girl I'm dating now (and subsequently marrying next year).
 
BenPOF said:
It's pretty simple. When you've found a woman who's value is greater than the value of cheating with other women, you won't cheat. I was like you until I met the girl I'm dating now (and subsequently marrying next year).
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That's because you're currently in love. Wait 5 or 10 years until you get bored then sent to Brazil or somewhere for a week long business assignment, and I bet there's a decent chance you'll "briefly glance around" for a female companion to help quell your homesickness.

It's one of those things that everyone does, but nobody talks about, and definitely never admits.

And it's not a big deal. They're still the same loving husband and father who has devoted their entire life, heart, and soul to their wife and kids, and has busted his ass all his life to be a good provider, and so on. That guy is still one phone call away from immediately dropping everything he's doing, and rushing back home to help in any situation.
 
Kiopa_Matt said:
That's because you're currently in love. Wait 5 or 10 years until you get bored then sent to Brazil or somewhere for a week long business assignment, and I bet there's a decent chance you'll "briefly glance around" for a female companion to help quell your homesickness.

It's one of those things that everyone does, but nobody talks about, and definitely never admits.

And it's not a big deal. They're still the same loving husband and father who has devoted their entire life, heart, and soul to their wife and kids, and has busted his ass all his life to be a good provider, and so on. That guy is still one phone call away from immediately dropping everything he's doing, and rushing back home to help in any situation.
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are you just as comfortable with your wifey getting some strange dick while you are away?

as long as she still is the loving wife and mother?
 
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I met my (first) girlfriend when I was 14. I'm now 20 years old and we are still together.
I'm fairly good looking and loaded, but none of that tempts me cheat simply because I know if I lose this woman from my life, I wouldn't be able to replace her. Over the years I've talked with many girls, and I've come to the conclusion that 90-95% of them are just straight up retarded. I need a woman that actually follows the news, knows politics, knows world history better than me, all around intelligent. Nowadays most of the chicks I see are a fraction of my intelligence level, immature about life and would love to get their hands on my money. Fuck them.
 
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