Welcome to Your Quarter Life Crisis
- Thread starter kingofsp
- Start date
I went through this as I turned 30.
I am just climbing out of it. I still don't have the typical wife/kids/mortgage crap going on (nor do I ever intend to).
But I have a sense of purpose and a direction. I feel like I am in control of my destiny, not waiting for fate to choose me.
You can't change anything until you decide what you care about, and sometimes, you can't care about anything, until you let go of all the stuff you don't care about, but hold on to, only because you are too scared to admit it.
I was just remarking to a family member, that the last year has been the simplest, quietest in my life and I loved it. Maybe my best year ever. I dumped all of the worthless friends and family members, didn't do a single thing to impress someone else, didn't treat my body with much disrespect, and spent a lot of quiet time thinking.
If you don't like your life, change it. No one is going to do it for you.
I am just climbing out of it. I still don't have the typical wife/kids/mortgage crap going on (nor do I ever intend to).
But I have a sense of purpose and a direction. I feel like I am in control of my destiny, not waiting for fate to choose me.
You can't change anything until you decide what you care about, and sometimes, you can't care about anything, until you let go of all the stuff you don't care about, but hold on to, only because you are too scared to admit it.
I was just remarking to a family member, that the last year has been the simplest, quietest in my life and I loved it. Maybe my best year ever. I dumped all of the worthless friends and family members, didn't do a single thing to impress someone else, didn't treat my body with much disrespect, and spent a lot of quiet time thinking.
If you don't like your life, change it. No one is going to do it for you.
This trend will grow.
Pew Research released a study a couple of years ago. It was based on data compiled over two decades showing the level of narcissism in kids (grade school through high school). That level had skyrocketed.
Pew's conclusions: a sharp increase in domestic violence, a rising inability to remain employed, and a general incapacity to make relationships work.
My thoughts: we (as a populace) coddle our kids and raise them to be... kids. We teach them to be bored. We train them to eschew knowledge and suppress curiosity. In their place, we prepare our young to be compliant consumers driven by their emotions.
It would not surprise me in 30 years to see young adults experiencing more frequent "crises." Many I see today are hollow shells.
Here's an example...
I was at Starbucks Monday evening. I heard a grown man (looked to be in his 30s) furiously telling his wife that "nobody was gonna 'F' up his birthday." He often comes into Starbucks. He speaks incessantly, yet rarely says anything interesting or insightful. Emotions drive him. He is not an exception.
Here's another example...
Two weeks ago, I was at Starbucks. A mother and her teenage daughter came in. The daughter was texting. Suddenly, she squeals, "Oh my GOSH! Jessica just sent me a smiley!" I half-expected her mother to say, "Get a grip. You're not nearly as special as you think." I'm an optimist. Instead, her mother squeals in response, "WOW! Does she know it's your birthday?!"
There was no sign of irony on the mother's face. Nor sarcasm. She was sincere.
Many adults I know are narcissists. They raise their young to be narcissists. Identity crises are par for the course.
Could be a great niche for aggressive marketers slinging antidepressants.
Pew Research released a study a couple of years ago. It was based on data compiled over two decades showing the level of narcissism in kids (grade school through high school). That level had skyrocketed.
Pew's conclusions: a sharp increase in domestic violence, a rising inability to remain employed, and a general incapacity to make relationships work.
My thoughts: we (as a populace) coddle our kids and raise them to be... kids. We teach them to be bored. We train them to eschew knowledge and suppress curiosity. In their place, we prepare our young to be compliant consumers driven by their emotions.
It would not surprise me in 30 years to see young adults experiencing more frequent "crises." Many I see today are hollow shells.
Here's an example...
I was at Starbucks Monday evening. I heard a grown man (looked to be in his 30s) furiously telling his wife that "nobody was gonna 'F' up his birthday." He often comes into Starbucks. He speaks incessantly, yet rarely says anything interesting or insightful. Emotions drive him. He is not an exception.
Here's another example...
Two weeks ago, I was at Starbucks. A mother and her teenage daughter came in. The daughter was texting. Suddenly, she squeals, "Oh my GOSH! Jessica just sent me a smiley!" I half-expected her mother to say, "Get a grip. You're not nearly as special as you think." I'm an optimist. Instead, her mother squeals in response, "WOW! Does she know it's your birthday?!"
There was no sign of irony on the mother's face. Nor sarcasm. She was sincere.
Many adults I know are narcissists. They raise their young to be narcissists. Identity crises are par for the course.
Could be a great niche for aggressive marketers slinging antidepressants.
Sounds like Starbucks has already figured this out.
You're right. I've watched many drown their sorrows and find redemption at the bottom of a $4 crappuccino.
There is a great novel by William Gibson, I think it is "Pattern Recognition" and the protagonist, is this girl who is a marketing expert, gets disoriented when exposed to brands.
She is the anti-narcissist, used by global corporations, to discover narcissistic consumer trends like a divining rod.
Like most of WG's work, it is understated, but insightful.
She is the anti-narcissist, used by global corporations, to discover narcissistic consumer trends like a divining rod.
Like most of WG's work, it is understated, but insightful.
Indecision isn't a problem, having decisions forced upon you are. The state of confusion comes from the liberty of having all options open.
Who would want it any other way?
If you don't know what to do with your life, it's not because there's anything wrong with you. Knowledge of self brings the future into focus, the truth will uncover itself with introspection and the flow of time.
This brings me back to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Self actualization is one of the hardest steps to reach. Money is just a tool to help you reach that level, and for some of us we just need more of it to help us get there.
The problem is in people living in the past/future and not paying attention to now. Most people just really need to learn to accept what is. Not blindly saying "this is what is" and leaving it be, but just accepting that this is how things are right now. If you don't like it, then change it. Otherwise, leave it be.
It's the least complicated idea in the world, yet it's the hardest to get through people's heads.
It's the least complicated idea in the world, yet it's the hardest to get through people's heads.
You do realize we're all microscopic organisms colliding into each other inside an enormous test tube right?
I believe one controls their destiny as a driver does his steering wheel on a busy highway. Everything you know can be wiped out in the blink of an eye because the other guy swerves into your lane.
This applies to anything of course, from a real accident, to happening to go into a 7-11 at 6:02 pm and meeting your future wife, to cutting your finger opening a can of sardines and dying from an infection.
We have no choice but to think we're in control, and if you take your hands off the wheel for sure you have no structure, but we shouldnt kid ourselves. We are all on collision courses for events (fate) that we cannot predict nor necessarily wish to happen.
BTW this wasnt meant as a knock on your comment. I think one should do all they can to control their fate, but I find in the end it's 99% force of nature, 1% you.
That's a nice emo argument, and has a built in fail clause.
You believe you are just the result of coincidence, and your life exists beyond your control.
I choose not to.
That works for some people. Defer responsibility and just keep your head down, hoping no one swerves into your lane.
The meek may inherit the earth, but the bold create it.
We all have to learn how to live with, and like ourselves. Avoidance is not a solution.
No I'm not saying that at all, but I do understand where you're trying to go with this.
The driver who keeps their head down and says "I am going to do everything I can to drive straight and control my current path in this life" works for the driver only. It doesn't work ultimately because there are many drivers out there who just got laid off and are looking to crash into the first car they see. Or fall asleep at the wheel and swerve into your lane.
I think, if I understand you correctly, you feel the driver should be alert as possible, scanning all the cars around him, ready to swerve at the first car that looks like it could come at him. The driver will control his own fate and not succumb to the other drivers.
My point is that during all of this, a plane will fall from the sky and crash onto your car.
You can't control all the variables.
