Don't Fuck With Me

[DumDum]

LOL @ your marriage indeed?

She threatened to divorce you? Or even throw a shit over Valentines?

So glad my wife and I don't do Valentines.

If you get trouble over a holiday invented by cards and flowers companies, reexamine your life.

::emp::

Seconded!

It should've been your wife you should've yelled at. The flower company might be a piece of shit, but your wife is the one who divorced you over a messup the flower company created.
(Ofcourse, I don't believe this...You must've gotten caught cheating on her or something because no woman in her right mind would throw such a big fit over not receiving a valentine's gift.)
Also, please tell us how did the flower company's messup ruin your V Day's plans?...were the flowers all you were gifting her? If yes, you should've seen it coming a long time back!

 

[butcher]

I'd never go on like that for fear of sounding like a cock.. Oh, wait

 

[Lucidity]

 

[(O_o)]

I'm getting sick and tired of listening to your shit. You keep pushing me day in and day out, and eventually you'll push me past the point of no return. I don't give a **** who you are or where you live, you can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much fucking pain that it'll make jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island.I don't give a **** how tough you are, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself.

I'll fucking show up at your house when you aren't at home. I'll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. I'll turn your air conditioning on high and open all the windows. I'll turn your cable box on and order 20 pay per view channels at once, and I'll pick up your phone and dial a pay-per-minute sex line in Japan.

I'm going to run your utility bills up so fucking high that you can't pay them. You're going to start stressing the **** out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for heart operation, and the last thing you'll see when you're being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed up like a doctor. When you wake up after the operation, you'll be scared for your fucking life, wondering what I did to you while you were being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery.

And when you walk out the front door of that hospital to go home, I'll run you over with my fucking car out of nowhere and kill you.I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I'd rather go to a great fucking length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It's too fucking late to save yourself, but don't bother committing suicide either...I'll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitchfaced ****.

Welcome to hell, population: you.

*slow clap*

 

[daniwilson]

good work against these corporates, good luck w/ the copier company

 

[vortex]

If your wife was that pissed off about some fucking flowers then maybe you should go apeshit on her and not the company.

Unless of course she owns your testicles, in which case proceed as usual.

+1

Sad but True... will proceed ;D

 

[LotsOfZeros]

Am I the only one that picked up on the irony of the OP's story?

The first company he threatens for not abiding by their contract with him.

The second, he threatens because he wants to get out of his contract.

 

[CLKeenan]

I'm getting sick and tired of listening to your shit. You keep pushing me day in and day out, and eventually you'll push me past the point of no return. I don't give a **** who you are or where you live, you can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much fucking pain that it'll make jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island.I don't give a **** how tough you are, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself.

I'll fucking show up at your house when you aren't at home. I'll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. I'll turn your air conditioning on high and open all the windows. I'll turn your cable box on and order 20 pay per view channels at once, and I'll pick up your phone and dial a pay-per-minute sex line in Japan.

I'm going to run your utility bills up so fucking high that you can't pay them. You're going to start stressing the **** out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for heart operation, and the last thing you'll see when you're being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed up like a doctor. When you wake up after the operation, you'll be scared for your fucking life, wondering what I did to you while you were being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery.

And when you walk out the front door of that hospital to go home, I'll run you over with my fucking car out of nowhere and kill you.I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I'd rather go to a great fucking length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It's too fucking late to save yourself, but don't bother committing suicide either...I'll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitchfaced ****.

Welcome to hell, population: you.

Did you just write that? cause that is fucking fantastic

 

[1yerrot]

LOL @ your marriage indeed?

She threatened to divorce you? Or even throw a shit over Valentines?

So glad my wife and I don't do Valentines.

If you get trouble over a holiday invented by cards and flowers companies, reexamine your life.

::emp::

Funny how I didn't even think about how jacked up dude's relationship is until you guys brought it up. Lol, sucks for the OP. I don't screw with Valentines day either, but I do understand having my chick pissed at me, albeit for legitimate reasons. It can prove to be a great motivational tool, lol.

 

[seohug]

You don't need to go through all that trouble to blow a company PR, just go by basic SEO principles of a few good links better than mass links.

Post up on forums and blogs where people read reviews on flower companies. They rank higher by default. I did one for a hotel in Tripadvisor. If you type hotel_name review, it's number #1 in Google and Bing

 

[Bofu2U]

At least what happened to me didn't happen to you.

Send flowers to girlfriend with note "I hope you think these are as beautiful as I know you are".
Blizzard ensues.
Flowers alive dead.

Edit: With "forever alone" pic, .Hack will now subscribe.

 

[b_sun]

Maybe you shouldn't wait till the DAY OF to order some flowers and expect everything goes off without a hitch?

I'M GONNA TELL THE INTERNET ON YOU HURRRR.

You didn't get what you wanted? WAHH too fucking bad. The self entitlement in this country is fucking sickening. Starting with douchebags like you.

 

[WickedWeasel]

Dang man! you skurry!

 

[Linklover]

some clarification...
flowers ordered 2 days before vd.
they told me i was on hold such a long time because it was VD and they were busy. They should have put more people on for "their" fucking holiday dontcha think?
the divorce part was for effect.
flowers were not the only gift to show my love & devotion.
yes she does have my balls.

I am so fucking tired of these big companies thinking they can get away with shit cause we're just little guys that can't hurt them. Well wake the fuck up. We got automation and can fuck your rep up bad real quick. the rules are changing. facebook took down egypt... and they know it.

 

[WickedWeasel]

some clarification...
flowers ordered 2 days before vd.
they told me i was on hold such a long time because it was VD and they were busy. They should have put more people on for "their" fucking holiday dontcha think?
the divorce part was for effect.
flowers were not the only gift to show my love & devotion.
yes she does have my balls.

I am so fucking tired of these big companies thinking they can get away with shit cause we're just little guys that can't hurt them. Well wake the fuck up. We got automation and can fuck your rep up bad real quick. the rules are changing. facebook took down egypt... and they know it.

Dang man.. They more think of their valentines more than their affiliates in which works for them.

 

[Affiliati]

some clarification...
flowers ordered 2 days before vd.
they told me i was on hold such a long time because it was VD and they were busy. They should have put more people on for "their" fucking holiday dontcha think?
the divorce part was for effect.
flowers were not the only gift to show my love & devotion.
yes she does have my balls.

I am so fucking tired of these big companies thinking they can get away with shit cause we're just little guys that can't hurt them. Well wake the fuck up. We got automation and can fuck your rep up bad real quick. the rules are changing. facebook took down egypt... and they know it.

you sound like such a little bitch. man the fuck up, and change your poopy diaper you little cry baby.

 

[jmizzle]

Am I the only one who each time he typed "my dw" read it as "my dumbass wife"?

What the fuck man? I bet next you're going to tell us your wife doesn't work, you have a nanny and the pool boy shows up on his days off because he's committed to the job.

 

[Magic Hat]

OP: I will SOCIAL BOOKMARK the FUCK out of your ass.

Customer Service rep: *snickers* (to coworker): I got one of those Warrior Forum newbs on the phone threatening to social bookmark us again, haha. Next he's gonna try to trade his ebook for some flowers.

You could have just manned up and done something special/creative for your wife instead of buying her cookie cutter roses. Instead, you spent hours arguing on the phone with peons and taking your sexual frustration out on someone who is just trying to get through their miserable job. Well played.

 

[Positive Carry]

No offense, but you're a loser. Plain and simple.

The only type of person I can imagine threatening someone with their "awesome seo skillz" is someone who was probably picked last in kickball their whole life.

All I got out of this story was:

1. You're proud finally be in control of something in your life.

2. Your wife is a bitch.

3. Your valentines gift sucked. A real gift would make any floral arrangement an afterthought.

P.S. Don't try and fight back bros, I got a subscription to DFB and I know how to use it. LOL

You Fucking joke.

 

[Magic Hat]

2. Your wife is a bitch.

His wife isn't naturally a bitch, though. If you had to put up with this beta every day of your life, and then receive flowers (not even good flowers, and not even delivered properly) on VDay to remind you that you are married to an absolute failure who has to threaten a call center with SEO to get shit done, you would be a bitch too.