If your a person of little faith, it would not be wise to invest it an a woman. Also, if your the kind of man that gets cheated on, perhaps your foundations need some shaking. This could be a good thing. Maybe start here.
I need you WF brethren. I'm a lost man.
- Thread starter JarredLv
- Start date
If your a person of little faith, it would not be wise to invest it an a woman. Also, if your the kind of man that gets cheated on, perhaps your foundations need some shaking. This could be a good thing. Maybe start here.
Yo dude - lots of great advice in this thread already, so I'll be brief...
Been through a relatively sudden divorce myself recently... like you, no kids, thankfully...
I found that deciding what "I wanted" now, shortly after the whole thing was finalized, was an important key to getting past all the shitty feelings and negative natural crap...
All that shit will work its way out... then you're left with the questions, "well, what do I do now?"
If you're lacking focus, shit's going to seem hopeless; don't let it... do you want another girl right away? Date... do you want to focus on your biz? Great, do so... get ripped? Get on a diet and hit the gym... get rid of the "us" identity... it's just you now brother.
If it's your thing, spend time with friends, family - if not, find out what your thing is - new hobby? Sports?
All in all, keep your chin up bro, this too shall pass... keep looking ahead and START NOW - wishing you the best dude.
Been through a relatively sudden divorce myself recently... like you, no kids, thankfully...
I found that deciding what "I wanted" now, shortly after the whole thing was finalized, was an important key to getting past all the shitty feelings and negative natural crap...
All that shit will work its way out... then you're left with the questions, "well, what do I do now?"
If you're lacking focus, shit's going to seem hopeless; don't let it... do you want another girl right away? Date... do you want to focus on your biz? Great, do so... get ripped? Get on a diet and hit the gym... get rid of the "us" identity... it's just you now brother.
If it's your thing, spend time with friends, family - if not, find out what your thing is - new hobby? Sports?
All in all, keep your chin up bro, this too shall pass... keep looking ahead and START NOW - wishing you the best dude.
Korrupt is right. Don't wait for it to all blow over and be left with nothing to fill its place.
Get acting right away. You will want time to lick your wounds and feel sorry for yourself no doubt, and you probably won't be able to concentrate on shit for the time being.
Form a plan and stick to it. Fill your diary with steps for that plan - you will have something to fall back on when you waver. Daily goals. Weekly targets. Monthly progressions. Eventual release.
That sounds like something David Brent would say. : picard :
Get acting right away. You will want time to lick your wounds and feel sorry for yourself no doubt, and you probably won't be able to concentrate on shit for the time being.
Form a plan and stick to it. Fill your diary with steps for that plan - you will have something to fall back on when you waver. Daily goals. Weekly targets. Monthly progressions. Eventual release.
That sounds like something David Brent would say. : picard :
My i suggest some motivational youtube videos Like Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, some people who have been there Like Les Brown, who R&B soul singer Gladys Knight Divorced because In his words "she wanted to move to bigger and better things." Ive never been through a divorce, but With children and a babys mom who wishes nothing but curses and malediction for me, I can empathize. The thing here is to no matter what. STAY POSITIVE. this is what will get you through this.
It's easier said than done. But With Negative thoughts you allow negative energy and the energies around it ensue your thoughts, in turn your thoughts is what you create whether positive or negative. it's all energy and what you create.
Youtube those motivational speakers. There mostly about business. But its also about whatever is going through your life. Your situation is intense right now. But With Positive affirmations and .. I know youre not a man of faith. but what has helped me even with relationships is this:
Read Mathew 7:7, write that down on the back of a 3x5 index card, and on the front, put your affirmation down, whatever that might be. recite that a few times a day, for however long it takes you.. You dont need much faith or spirituality, it just works.. Im agnostic and It worked for me.. I STILL do it.. especially right now.
I know it sounds stupid, but you never know, it might work.
Hang In there Bro. were rootin for ya
It's easier said than done. But With Negative thoughts you allow negative energy and the energies around it ensue your thoughts, in turn your thoughts is what you create whether positive or negative. it's all energy and what you create.
Youtube those motivational speakers. There mostly about business. But its also about whatever is going through your life. Your situation is intense right now. But With Positive affirmations and .. I know youre not a man of faith. but what has helped me even with relationships is this:
Read Mathew 7:7, write that down on the back of a 3x5 index card, and on the front, put your affirmation down, whatever that might be. recite that a few times a day, for however long it takes you.. You dont need much faith or spirituality, it just works.. Im agnostic and It worked for me.. I STILL do it.. especially right now.
I know it sounds stupid, but you never know, it might work.
Hang In there Bro. were rootin for ya
Definitely one of the gayest threads on WF. Dudes talk trash on here all the time about how women are only good for one thing and are only after your money, and then they get surprised when that shit's true?
Count me out of this beta circlejerk.
Count me out of this beta circlejerk.
I'm really sorry to hear that Jarred. Having your faith shaken like that is hard to bounce back from but you will eventually. Just think, you will now be able to indulge in chasing and acquiring some fine ass now that otherwise was out of bounds before. Good luck bro.
Hopefully these have desired effect and cheer you up a fraction.
Hopefully these have desired effect and cheer you up a fraction.
Change is the only constant. You gave up freedom in exchange for security and received neither.
Enjoy the freedom you just gained back.
Enjoy the freedom you just gained back.
this ^^^^^^
plus try to adopt the mind set that if a women leaves you she is another mans problem and not yours anymore.
Fuck that Bitch and move on.
as others have said I would try and fuck her mom, best friend or sister just to be a dick.
that would be a temp solution, just make sure youre 10 steps ahead of her if youre gonna choose that route. Females talk.
Sorry to hear about this man. I went through a divorce back in '09 and, like yourself, I didn't have children with her and am thankful I didn't because it would've made things that much more complex and hurtful on many levels.
Divorce sucks and is more painful than a lot of other emotional trials and tribulations in life, but when it's over it's over. Time really does heal (true story) and in the end, chalk it all up as a valuable lesson learned and definitely not YOUR loss. In the meantime, make the most of the bachelor life, go out and do some fun shit to take your mind off of things and work towards better days bro.
Divorce sucks and is more painful than a lot of other emotional trials and tribulations in life, but when it's over it's over. Time really does heal (true story) and in the end, chalk it all up as a valuable lesson learned and definitely not YOUR loss. In the meantime, make the most of the bachelor life, go out and do some fun shit to take your mind off of things and work towards better days bro.
I think golan has some legit insight here... the solution isn't about distracting yourself with bullshit like pitifully taking up a hobby or banging a bunch of trashy whores, it's about internalizing principles like impermanence, attachment and acceptance, and accepting that there will be pain, but pain isn't to be either avoided or embraced, it just some thing that happens some times.
I'd still advocate focusing on yourself and meeting other women, but if you make the sad attempt at it that I've seen so many people undertake, you will only end up in another relationship that you use to keep yourself from becoming completely honest about reality. There's nothing like desperate losers in a relationship they hate because it's better than facing the fact that they hate themselves.
You're missing out.
Sorry to hear about your hard times Jarred... Lots of other bros on here have more experience on divorce so I'll leave the long term advice to them for what to do to get your life back together faster & better....
As for the short term stuff... If only there were a big town near where you lived that had fun things to do and see (and ingest) in it... Perhaps one with distractions that you can partake in... Any place like that in the desert near you?
If so, grab someone, whoever is available and up for some fun, & take them out drinking & rabblerousing tonight but make them swear to never, ever let you hold the phone for the next 24 or so hours.
Good luck!
As for the short term stuff... If only there were a big town near where you lived that had fun things to do and see (and ingest) in it... Perhaps one with distractions that you can partake in... Any place like that in the desert near you?
If so, grab someone, whoever is available and up for some fun, & take them out drinking & rabblerousing tonight but make them swear to never, ever let you hold the phone for the next 24 or so hours.
Good luck!
You feel deceived, low, sort of desperate for some validation at this point. What really hurts is all the replaying of your ex and the other man having relations, and why she would want such a "jerk".
I will not post anything regarding you getting it on with women because I know you are in a place where images of chicks getting railed only adds to your own movie your playing in your own head about her.
I have been exactly where you are minus the technicality of "married", but very long term regardless.
Bottom line: I didn't do it right. What I thought was true, turned out to be against thousands of years of biology.
Be careful about the info out there. Especially advice from women who have been through heartache from a "jerk" at some point. It will set you up to play a captain save-a-hoe. You will lose again.
My advice
1. Be around as many men as possible for the next 30 days. Men older than you and also in person.
2. Get off the internet temporarily unless it is for profit.
3. Feed your testosterone. Shoot guns, lift heavy weight, eat cows, fight at a gym, Kill porn forever. Only masterbate if you are "in the scene" NEVER MASTERBATE TO ANOTHER MALE IN THE SCENE. Don't be a "new age" Cuck. Take Zinc and Arginine. do kegels.
4. For a month, only be around women if they are family or used for sexual pleasure. No advice form these.
Take care, I know it hurts. You'll be fine in the long run.
I will not post anything regarding you getting it on with women because I know you are in a place where images of chicks getting railed only adds to your own movie your playing in your own head about her.
I have been exactly where you are minus the technicality of "married", but very long term regardless.
Bottom line: I didn't do it right. What I thought was true, turned out to be against thousands of years of biology.
Be careful about the info out there. Especially advice from women who have been through heartache from a "jerk" at some point. It will set you up to play a captain save-a-hoe. You will lose again.
My advice
1. Be around as many men as possible for the next 30 days. Men older than you and also in person.
2. Get off the internet temporarily unless it is for profit.
3. Feed your testosterone. Shoot guns, lift heavy weight, eat cows, fight at a gym, Kill porn forever. Only masterbate if you are "in the scene" NEVER MASTERBATE TO ANOTHER MALE IN THE SCENE. Don't be a "new age" Cuck. Take Zinc and Arginine. do kegels.
4. For a month, only be around women if they are family or used for sexual pleasure. No advice form these.
Take care, I know it hurts. You'll be fine in the long run.
Studies show that after a divorce the man's life tends to improve. If it helps you feel better remember that being in a failing relationship is probably the lowest it can go, things will only get better for you and when you do find the real right one you'll get to look back and see the bullet you dodged.
Good luck bro, all the best.
Good luck bro, all the best.
