One man wolf packs, what gets you going?

went through something similar. you're clearly in a depression after getting screwed over by a female. when it happened to me, i wasn't used to the feeling or feeling sad. things seem bad now, but it's true what people say...time will cure it, even if you don't believe it will. give yourself a year and i bet you'll be feeling 1000x better.

1. exercise will definitely make you feel better. religiously lift/run.
2. work.
3. put yourself in a position to get laid.
4. if you can, move far enough away that you don't have to think about your wife. that's probably not a possibility for you atm.
 


Your post borders pathetic. Your 30 and you know the answers, for sure as fuck drinking alot is not what you should be doing. Set goals for yourself, eat proper, maintain a healthy lifestyle, workout.
 
Honestly man, it sounds like you need some help to get yourself right. Go talk to someone.... a therapist, priest if you're religious, someone who you can share your thoughts with.

It sounds like you have had some sort of issues (anxiety, depression, etc) in the past that you probably covered up with the crazy shit you said you did and based on the fact that you said your friends are all in jail or have drug abuse problems then I would assume you were hanging out with people that had similar mindsets/problems and tried to self-medicate and whatnot.

Don't listen to people telling you to "man-up" and giving you vague useless advice.

If you're feeling lost and you need some guidance then I truly think manning up in this case would be to ask for help.

Best of luck man. I hope things work out for you.
 
TheLiquidWrench said:
Honestly man, it sounds like you need some help to get yourself right. Go talk to someone.... a therapist, priest if you're religious, someone who you can share your thoughts with.
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I just did talk to someone... wf is good for me... Don't want to share and sit and talk about it...

Ok, thanks errbody. I'll give it some time and try to focus... Happiness is relative, and you are as happy as you think you are. Just need to figure out how to change my mind and set new goals.
 
TheLiquidWrench said:
Don't listen to people telling you to "man-up" and giving you vague useless advice.
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There is close to nil sense of brotherhood in this thread, and yet the vast majority of us are men. Those that went against the grain: I applaud you.

Everything you’ve worked for is being extracted and redistributed to your hypergamous wife but don’t even dream about complaining. Know your place. You are little more than a pack mule and walking ATM in Western culture. You were in denial of this until divorce court slam dunked reality on your face.

Automatically there is the assumption that a failed marriage is the fault of the man. Where is the evidence for this? Relationships are a two way street. Women currently file slightly more than two-thirds of divorce cases in the United States. Living in a culture that gives women (financial) incentive to walk out the door doesn’t exactly keep marriages together.
 
guysmy said:
There is close to nil sense of brotherhood in this thread, and yet the vast majority of us are men.
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Just because we both have penises, doesn't mean we're brothers in intellect, morals or character.

The OP has kids. He's got a fucking responsibility. Sure, life is fucking tough and deals out shit sandwiches on the reg. Big fucking deal.

Men man up and take care of their responsibilities. Boys do not.

If this guys wants to feel self indulgent and engage in self destructive behavior, then that's his call. I think he is an asshole.

I think you're a bigger asshole for trying to rationalize his acting like an asshole, and assuming that because you're both brothers of the penis, somehow he must be the victim in this.

Victimization is for losers. Winners cure themselves with their minds and move on. And win.
 
tatrasim said:
My stand is that there is only one person to run the ship of the family and girls do not belong by the steering wheel.
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This is about the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. No wonder she left your ass. Marriage is a partnership and you basically told her she doesn't count for shit. What did you expect her to do?
 
guerilla said:
Just because we both have penises, doesn't mean we're brothers in intellect, morals or character.
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Hello friend,

This is true. If people of same religion and race often try kill each other why should two people who man automatically be good friend who help each other.

I wish everyone good luck bro but in truth I no consider every person my brother.

But I think once person become father have be reponsible for sons and even daugthers. No can just give children away or sell them if no want be father anymore.

If all want do is party, drink, do drug, and sex lot girl then no should get marry and have children just because other people do.

Good luck bro
 
tatrasim said:
I used to do a lot of shit before I got married... But then decided to settle down, stopped all the crazy shit I've been doing and went all in on the family. Used to love snowboarding, fighting, doing a lot of crazy shit. But now all the crazy friends are gone, not even sure what to do. I'd go snowboarding but the skills and people to go with are not there anymore. I put her as my best friend and made my interests in common with hers. Changed a lot, I think it could have been for the better, as I dont envy any of my past friends right now. But fuck... Trying to focus and get shit done, and all I have is the past several years in my head.
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Dwelling on the past is just a waste of time that could be better spent elsewhere. Identify your mistakes (if any), identify the lessons to be learned, and move on.

All that matters now is the present and the future, and you have full control over both. Get to work.
 
guerilla said:
Just because we both have penises, doesn't mean we're brothers in intellect, morals or character.

The OP has kids. He's got a fucking responsibility. Sure, life is fucking tough and deals out shit sandwiches on the reg. Big fucking deal.

Men man up and take care of their responsibilities. Boys do not.

If this guys wants to feel self indulgent and engage in self destructive behavior, then that's his call. I think he is an asshole.

I think you're a bigger asshole for trying to rationalize his acting like an asshole, and assuming that because you're both brothers of the penis, somehow he must be the victim in this.

Victimization is for losers. Winners cure themselves with their minds and move on. And win.
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I’d wager that a good majority of men get depressed after a divorce and drink more than they should. I doubt his wife is in a very good place right now either.

He has no one to talk about this. Why else would he post it here? I chose to show him some compassion as I’m of the opinion that you need to release some demons before you can bounce back from something like this. Repressing your emotions can be destructive as well.

I didn’t read anything about dropping responsibilities nor do I advocate it. He said that he loves his kids and that they keep him going.

He’s pissed because he’s living in a shitty apartment while his wife whom contributed very little financially gets the house. To me this is unjust since they both get 50/50 custody as I understand it.
 
sumitdhawan said:
Hello friend,

This is true. If people of same religion and race often try kill each other why should two people who man automatically be good friend who help each other.

I wish everyone good luck bro but in truth I no consider every person my brother.

But I think once person become father have be reponsible for sons and even daugthers. No can just give children away or sell them if no want be father anymore.

If all want do is party, drink, do drug, and sex lot girl then no should get marry and have children just because other people do.

Good luck bro
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Hahaha
 
Hale.Pane said:
Wait so you changed into a different person for her?
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Anyone who says they won't change in a marriage won't be married very long. Marriage is about give and take. Sometimes that's giving up some of the things you use to do all the time, because you should be spending that time doing something else more productive for the family. When you have kids it hits even more so. It's hard to go snow boarding for a weekend when you have 2 kids. Just going to the movies is over $100. So if you use to love going to the movies you might be able to swing 10 movies a month for you and her, but it would be pretty unreasonable to go see the same amount of movies after you factor in child care (assuming you have to pay for it, because you have no family around).
 
Hale.Pane said:
Been said before but I'll say it again. You have exactly 2 reasons to hustle hard. Be the father you'd wish you had.
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^This^​

Get over it.Stay over it. Hustle.​

You cant change what happened. Only what happens next. If you let the depression win then you are just making your situation worse. Use this time to better yourself and your family. Make sure your house is as neat as possible as well. People (Social Workers) like to drop by at time like this.
 
Drinking, drugs, hanging with depressing people that do the same is not the place for someone dealing with issues. You need to get around successful positive people.

Someone mentioned getting a job, to be honest the job is good but it is the routine and forced interaction with others that can snap you back into reality. If you work for yourself, at home, like many of us do - consider renting an office within a larger busy office. Not a "executive suite" but something nicer, more active and engaging. I have worked for several law firms that sub-let space, you may not be a lawyer but as a tech/im/doer person you can find a place. This forces you to get into a functional routine, get dressed, interact, be friendly, etc. Then add in some social time with co-workers - in other words - be a bit of a sheep (in socializing not money making) for awhile to keep you mood up. Stay away from the losers drinking etc - by the age of 30 if you are still doing this you have problems.

Second - consider the words of your ex - "stop seeing yourself as a victim" that you admitted in post 4. This is an elusive concept (to men) that you need to talk to a counselor about because it is all to real in many people. I can tell she is right by reading your posts, but most men are not equipped to understand what they are feeling. You need a counselor, really. If you cannot afford one then find a woman that you trust, and do not want to screw, that will explain the concept to you. I cannot nail it for you, but trust me, the way you word your posts makes it clear that you have these martyr/victim/self destructive behavior - and stop lying to yourself, you say "F it who cares anyway" but what you are saying is that you do not know how to deal with the emotions and feelings that are being put onto you by others and by yourself. You need to sort this shit out or it will follow you the rest of your life.

Even calling yourself a "Wolf" is interesting. You are claiming your status as a pack animal without a pack. Think on that for awhile. Sounds like you need some pack reinforcement and routine.
 
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