xyz.com, the flower company totally fucked up my valentine's day arrangement to my dear wife who proceeded to make my life hell for "my" oversight.
I called on VD and was put on hold. I hung up 30 minutes later.
I emailed 2x... no answer.
I called 2 days later and finally got through. I told them of my plight and they promised to send the arrangement to my dw that day. 2 days later the wrong arrangement arrived at the wrong location and looked like the oldest flowers in the shop that no one else wanted.
I called and was passed from person to person when finally a supervisor told me they would send the same arrangement for 1/2 price and they would refund my original fee. "You charged my card and didn't even deliver flowers?"
I went bonkers on the phone.
I was passed up to a higher supervisor who told me the same thing.
I was sooooo mad. I said "you don't know who you are dealing with. I do SEO for a living which means that I can mass blog post, mass blog comment, mass forum post, mass distribute articles, mass post on all social media including twitter, facebook, linkedin and myspace, mass press release and RSS distribution and massively social bookmark everything. It means that i can also make youtube videos and syndicate them to special channels that millions of people will see and send to their friends.... and I am going to do all that about how your company fucked me and caused my divorce. I do it all anonymously with servers from around the world so no one can tell where its all coming from... do you understand what all this means?"
She says "are you threatening me?"
I say "no, I'm threatening your company with a bad review that millions of people will read and will become your company's worst PR nightmare they have ever experienced. Now since you got me so angry, I want 2 dozen long stem white roses delivered in one hour to my dw."
She says "hold on"....
She gets back on the line and says "i can send your dw 18 longs stem white roses."
I say "you are negotiating with me? with an angry customer and you're the ones who fucked up? You tell that guy standing behind you negotiating with me that facebook took down egypt and I'm going to use every tool at my disposal to take your company down if he doesn't get my dw 2 dozen long stem white roses in one hour."
She puts me on hold, comes back on and says "yes sir, we will have 2 dozen long stem white roses delivered to your dw within the hour... is there anything else i can help you with?"
2 dozen gorgeous long stem white roses arrived in 40 minutes.
Long story short - facebook took down egypt and these big companies who depend on customer reviews are shaking in their fucking boots.
Next in my sights is the copier company who i am leasing a big name copier from. I want to end the 60 month lease 7 months early. They first said they couldnt do that... with some pushing i was handed to one of their lawyers who said he would send me a "computer generated" early termination agreement today (meaning the chicken shit wouldnt talk numbers with me).
That was yesterday. No email today. Tomorrow another phone call. I hope I don't have to threaten them.
I called on VD and was put on hold. I hung up 30 minutes later.
I emailed 2x... no answer.
I called 2 days later and finally got through. I told them of my plight and they promised to send the arrangement to my dw that day. 2 days later the wrong arrangement arrived at the wrong location and looked like the oldest flowers in the shop that no one else wanted.
I called and was passed from person to person when finally a supervisor told me they would send the same arrangement for 1/2 price and they would refund my original fee. "You charged my card and didn't even deliver flowers?"
I went bonkers on the phone.
I was passed up to a higher supervisor who told me the same thing.
I was sooooo mad. I said "you don't know who you are dealing with. I do SEO for a living which means that I can mass blog post, mass blog comment, mass forum post, mass distribute articles, mass post on all social media including twitter, facebook, linkedin and myspace, mass press release and RSS distribution and massively social bookmark everything. It means that i can also make youtube videos and syndicate them to special channels that millions of people will see and send to their friends.... and I am going to do all that about how your company fucked me and caused my divorce. I do it all anonymously with servers from around the world so no one can tell where its all coming from... do you understand what all this means?"
She says "are you threatening me?"
I say "no, I'm threatening your company with a bad review that millions of people will read and will become your company's worst PR nightmare they have ever experienced. Now since you got me so angry, I want 2 dozen long stem white roses delivered in one hour to my dw."
She says "hold on"....
She gets back on the line and says "i can send your dw 18 longs stem white roses."
I say "you are negotiating with me? with an angry customer and you're the ones who fucked up? You tell that guy standing behind you negotiating with me that facebook took down egypt and I'm going to use every tool at my disposal to take your company down if he doesn't get my dw 2 dozen long stem white roses in one hour."
She puts me on hold, comes back on and says "yes sir, we will have 2 dozen long stem white roses delivered to your dw within the hour... is there anything else i can help you with?"
2 dozen gorgeous long stem white roses arrived in 40 minutes.
Long story short - facebook took down egypt and these big companies who depend on customer reviews are shaking in their fucking boots.
Next in my sights is the copier company who i am leasing a big name copier from. I want to end the 60 month lease 7 months early. They first said they couldnt do that... with some pushing i was handed to one of their lawyers who said he would send me a "computer generated" early termination agreement today (meaning the chicken shit wouldnt talk numbers with me).
That was yesterday. No email today. Tomorrow another phone call. I hope I don't have to threaten them.
