I can see your point of view. I am not certain because my wife wasn't certain of the family schedule, but I believe that at 4pm they are going to be at an amusement park. So everyone will be riding the rides, etc... I don't see how leaving an amusement park is a big deal.
Solve this disagreement between the wife and I, who's right?
- Thread starter JMan1234
- Start date
I can see your point of view. I am not certain because my wife wasn't certain of the family schedule, but I believe that at 4pm they are going to be at an amusement park. So everyone will be riding the rides, etc... I don't see how leaving an amusement park is a big deal.
Christ your wife is a selfish bitch. Also I've been married for over 5 years, but no kids.
We started arranging for my brother to come as soon as the fight date was known, which was a few months ago, it happens to also fall on his birthday (and we usually, but not all of the time, visit each other on birthday's anyway). At this time my wife knew that her family thing was sometime in Sept, but she didn't know when (her Grandparents had already scheduled it, but she didn't know for what dates). Just yesterday she finally called them and got the date.
Bro, stick with me on this one because I have a crazy wife too. PVR the fight. Do whatever she wants you to do regarding the reunion in the afternoon. Bring your brother along as it could be fun for him too. Then ENJOY the fights in the evening.
I guarantee you if you take off to watch em, you will not enjoy them because that annoying wife voice will be in your head the whole time.
Oh, I would enjoy it, and definitely block her out during the fight. It's the drive back that I'd start thinking, lol. But ya, I get what you are saying. Seems viable to me.
Although the way she sounded, she may not care if it's 4pm, or 9pm, etc.... she may just be dead set on her way.
Time will tell....I've got about 7-weeks until then, so I'll definitely post back here with what finally happens.
I've been in a similar boat, insane girl, pretty much no friends, worked from home meaning we were together 24/7.. We weren't married and it was only 2 years so I may be way off base but it really sounds like you need to stand up for yourself man.
My experience is that most women that are irrational know deep down that they are being stupid so although they get pissed off when you make a stand they respect you more, get over it and every once in a blue moon they'll even apologize for the way they acted and want to make it up to you. Otherwise they just see you as a child and use sex as a bargaining chip.
What really makes me wonder though is how after 11 years of marriage and being around each other that much you aren't in a position where you can compromise with your wife or at least know how to talk her into seeing the situation from your perspective. Guess every relationship is different though.
My experience is that most women that are irrational know deep down that they are being stupid so although they get pissed off when you make a stand they respect you more, get over it and every once in a blue moon they'll even apologize for the way they acted and want to make it up to you. Otherwise they just see you as a child and use sex as a bargaining chip.
What really makes me wonder though is how after 11 years of marriage and being around each other that much you aren't in a position where you can compromise with your wife or at least know how to talk her into seeing the situation from your perspective. Guess every relationship is different though.
Well, I think I may be able to. I just found out about this yesterday....haven't sat down and talked in detail with her about it.
Wife wants to drag you through a three-day marathon of family and visiting? Fuck that, are they Middle Easterners or something? I've received family invites like that. I told them can't come, so sad. You can call me antisocial.
Spend four or five hours with the grandparents, go see your brother and then you're done. Two days saved. Get back to work.
My brother is going to be right here, he's coming from out of town.
Of course if her family were going to be in town, and I already had something scheduled, I wouldn't care if she skipped out by herself for a few hours. I don't see it as a big deal.
Take notes boys and girls. This is what happens when you start asking for "permission" for shit.
I'm going to add to this for fairness - the letting other people be right strategy doesn't just apply to women. It applies to 99% of people you have disagreements with.
Most people place more value on being "right" than anything else. If you realise how totally unimportant it actually is, your life gets a whole lot easier.
@Rebecca, I'm with you... I don't think that women need to be treated "like children". In fact I don't agree that children benefit from being treated "like children" either.
Most people place more value on being "right" than anything else. If you realise how totally unimportant it actually is, your life gets a whole lot easier.
@Rebecca, I'm with you... I don't think that women need to be treated "like children". In fact I don't agree that children benefit from being treated "like children" either.
I tell people all the time that the person they think my wife is is merely the tip of the iceberg. The perfect little 10% they get is nothing compared to the bat shit crazy 90% I live with. Amateursurgeon clearly "gets it" and your answer lies in his post.
Also read everything here and here, and for the love of Jesus H. Christ grow some balls..
Also read everything here and here, and for the love of Jesus H. Christ grow some balls..
As a female member of WF, I am always amused by these types of threads. Where do you guys find these insecure (can't look at other womens boobs), clingy (can't live life independent of you) women?
So, you and your brother had scheduled this well in advance, but now that the date conflicts with her family reunion your wife wants you to tell him he's on his own; even though you'll only be gone a few hours?
<sarcasm>Nope, she's not being unreasonable at all.</sarcasm>
So, you and your brother had scheduled this well in advance, but now that the date conflicts with her family reunion your wife wants you to tell him he's on his own; even though you'll only be gone a few hours?
<sarcasm>Nope, she's not being unreasonable at all.</sarcasm>
1. Calling the GP's could backfire as your wife will tell you that you betrayed her and violated her trust.
2. Maybe your wife is uncomfortable with her relatives or maybe a single relative and wants/needs you there for support. Knowing you "will be there" is important - women need the security. - for this you could have your bro go to the reunion and watch it in a room.
One thing is certain - from a male perspective she is being unreasonable. I have found that when my wife seems unreasonable it is because there is more to the situation than I think.
You need to find out the underlying issue:
1. Trust
2. your "being there"
3. security
4. doing something "for her" which is an offshoot of needing more security in the marriage
There is some reason she needs you there - find out, then address the issue. Then you will be able to go to your brothers, or have him come over. There are probably other relatives that will want to watch the fight too.
If you cannot figure out how to communicate and uncover unsaid issues, then you are in store for a lot of marital problems.
In the end, your wife needs to know she comes first. Not your family. That may be one of the underlying issues - if her family rarely gets together - does she feel it is always "your family"?
2. Maybe your wife is uncomfortable with her relatives or maybe a single relative and wants/needs you there for support. Knowing you "will be there" is important - women need the security. - for this you could have your bro go to the reunion and watch it in a room.
One thing is certain - from a male perspective she is being unreasonable. I have found that when my wife seems unreasonable it is because there is more to the situation than I think.
You need to find out the underlying issue:
1. Trust
2. your "being there"
3. security
4. doing something "for her" which is an offshoot of needing more security in the marriage
There is some reason she needs you there - find out, then address the issue. Then you will be able to go to your brothers, or have him come over. There are probably other relatives that will want to watch the fight too.
If you cannot figure out how to communicate and uncover unsaid issues, then you are in store for a lot of marital problems.
In the end, your wife needs to know she comes first. Not your family. That may be one of the underlying issues - if her family rarely gets together - does she feel it is always "your family"?