At first I thought that was a gag, but looks like it was an actual device. Genius!
Solve this disagreement between the wife and I, who's right?
- Thread starter JMan1234
- Start date
At first I thought that was a gag, but looks like it was an actual device. Genius!
I know this is going to be a very uncool answer, but....The reason I asked my wife, is because that's what you have to do in a marriage.
I agree with you "it's just three hours, boo-fucking -hoo". However, I couldn't just show up at her family event and then say "hey, leaving for a few hours see you guys later", with her knowing nothing about it...that wouldn't fly.
It's always interesting to see how you guys talk about your wives online. *wink*
She does sound like she's being unreasonable, and she would probably respect you more (although she might be angry in the meantime) if you put your foot down a bit and told her you'll be with your brother on Saturday night (or whenever), but that you'll be spending the rest of the time with family.
Checking with the grandparents is a nice strategy, too - especially since it puts the pressure back on her.
Sometimes I honestly don't know what sort of women you guys are carrying on with. Women need to be handled like children? Really? Actually, as a woman, I'll agree with you here - there are some women who seem to be stuck in a perpetual childlike state of me-me-me-me. But then, there are just as many guys stuck there, too. Maybe some in this thread. LOL
My husband barely attends any family events, and its no big deal. Without him there, I can focus on visiting and catching up, not making sure that he's not bored to tears. But then I've been married 10 years, so there might be a longevity issue there.
Another solution that hasn't been brought up yet is to bring your brother out to the gathering with you. Invite all the guys - including the grandfather - to go out to a sportsbar nearby. Your wife can go, too, if she wants. She'll probably say no, and the grandparents will likely be asleep halfway through the big event so they won't care.
I've been to many, many family functions over the years, and if you're spending a whole weekend together, it's hugely uncommon to spend every single moment with everyone. Ask your wife when the big events are scheduled - the party, the big meals, the gatherings, the present opening, whatever. Then, invite the young crowd out to where ever for the match after you've fulfilled all obligations. A nice balance, me thinks.
She does sound like she's being unreasonable, and she would probably respect you more (although she might be angry in the meantime) if you put your foot down a bit and told her you'll be with your brother on Saturday night (or whenever), but that you'll be spending the rest of the time with family.
Checking with the grandparents is a nice strategy, too - especially since it puts the pressure back on her.
Sometimes I honestly don't know what sort of women you guys are carrying on with. Women need to be handled like children? Really? Actually, as a woman, I'll agree with you here - there are some women who seem to be stuck in a perpetual childlike state of me-me-me-me. But then, there are just as many guys stuck there, too. Maybe some in this thread. LOL
My husband barely attends any family events, and its no big deal. Without him there, I can focus on visiting and catching up, not making sure that he's not bored to tears. But then I've been married 10 years, so there might be a longevity issue there.
Another solution that hasn't been brought up yet is to bring your brother out to the gathering with you. Invite all the guys - including the grandfather - to go out to a sportsbar nearby. Your wife can go, too, if she wants. She'll probably say no, and the grandparents will likely be asleep halfway through the big event so they won't care.
I've been to many, many family functions over the years, and if you're spending a whole weekend together, it's hugely uncommon to spend every single moment with everyone. Ask your wife when the big events are scheduled - the party, the big meals, the gatherings, the present opening, whatever. Then, invite the young crowd out to where ever for the match after you've fulfilled all obligations. A nice balance, me thinks.
Looking at this from a female perspective - something else is up. Your brother lives 200 miles away,it's his Birthday and there all you want to do is bond w. him for a couple hours? That's more than reasonable. You even offered to drive back to the family reunion - Did you get into some sort of trouble last time you were w. her brother that upset her?
Exactly... people get so attached to being "right", and it really doesn't matter at atll. What matters is you get what you want.
Once, my wife was arguing with me over going to my parents for Easter. She doesn't like staying with our kid in their house cos they go to bed late and wake the kid up.
So I told her to stay in a hotel up the road. She said "but that will be terrible too".
And I replied "well, we'll test it. And if it's terrible, you get to be right."
She really had no answer to that, and I got my way.
@LordB - yes, it is complicated living with another person. But the other benefits make up for it most of the time. Plus, once you get them figured out you can pretty much bend them to your will, which is satisfying.
@OP Re: the seeing all boobs on the forum, and never letting you use it again? Please tell me you weren't serious. If you were, you need to sort that out, because that is a sign you have a problem.
Nope, no trouble. And she has no problems with my brother. I think she is just dead set about it being 100% her family, even if it's just 3hrs.
I would change your statement from "I would like to leave for just 3 hours" to "I am going to leave for 3 hours". But then again, I don't have a wife. That could be "no sex for a month" territory.
This.
So many guys around saying things like "I control my wife, she let me watch football every Wednesday" or "My wife (or gf) let me seat in front of computer for 2 hours a day, I'm a lucky guy". Observe the language she uses as it will tell you what she thinks about you. So far she treats you like a kid. And this is obviously ONLY your fault. Grow up. It would be reasonable for you to leave for a whole day to celebrate your bros bday, not fucking 3 hours.
But here is solution. Fuck other chicks and you will realize you can get better sex unconditionally. This will make you a confident man and destroy the only asset any woman has over the man.
First, you're going to tell her you're going. Then you're going to tell her that she's making you a God damn sandwich for when you leave, and when you get back? There better be fucking cookies on the table.
That's a possibility. I could.
However, if she's going to be mad either way, I'd much
rather just watch it live.
Yeah but honestly, I did not realize that the fight was going to be 4pm local time for you. That's got to be a terrible time to watch a fight. Might as well bring your Bro to the reunion with you, have a good time and show your wife that you are the better person, then watch the fight with your bro in the evening and even go out after the fight for a few. It would be way more relaxing that way. Otherwise, if you F off for 3 hours to watch the fight while the reunion is on, you will be thinking about the potential shit storm thats brewing with your wife the whole time, and you will be rushing to get back.
Forget the Machiavellian stuff. Be direct. Set expectations. Then, be consistent about them.
Works with kids, friends, lovers, parents, and dogs.
There are a lot of family functions I choose not to attend. My lady knows other things are more important to me. I've also trained her to realize that appealing to my emotions (outburst, silent treatment, etc.) is a dead-end. It will make me think less of her since I respect logic.
It sounds like you've already trained your wife to expect your compliance. That may be fine; it's impossible for us to know what you hope to receive in return. Maybe she has a million-dollar trust fund, and she's terminally ill. Maybe she's great in the sack. We can't know your motivations.
But if you're unhappy with the arrangement, it's time to reset the expectations. Then, be consistent about them.
If you're an emotional man, ignore what I've said. It's unlikely any of the above will work long-term.
Works with kids, friends, lovers, parents, and dogs.
There are a lot of family functions I choose not to attend. My lady knows other things are more important to me. I've also trained her to realize that appealing to my emotions (outburst, silent treatment, etc.) is a dead-end. It will make me think less of her since I respect logic.
It sounds like you've already trained your wife to expect your compliance. That may be fine; it's impossible for us to know what you hope to receive in return. Maybe she has a million-dollar trust fund, and she's terminally ill. Maybe she's great in the sack. We can't know your motivations.
But if you're unhappy with the arrangement, it's time to reset the expectations. Then, be consistent about them.
If you're an emotional man, ignore what I've said. It's unlikely any of the above will work long-term.